It's hard to tell what's inside my heart

Lately, i've been starting my final examination...well it's fine really fine...is it? oh well every critical time like this, something would come up and bothers me...why...why...and why?? I don't quite understand it.. It felt like a large lump in my heart pushing to my throat, trying to get out!

Oh friend, you are too precious for me..our friendship is priceless..Don't let our ship be sunked to the bottom of this challenging world...i know we could make through all this together...Don't just turn away..Let's face it!

On New Year's Eve

The last day of 2011 and welcoming 2012 with free heart and soul.... Normally during new year's eve, i usually sit by myself and reflect back on the things that i've done and accomplished so far...But for this time i gathered with my family...we all comfortably enjoy the last night of the year together, having dinner and midnight walk~~now how romantic is that?? Well actually tak la romantic sangat sebab everywhere and anytime we take a walk together, rase cam rombongan pun ade...hehe ^____^ because i have a total number of 6 siblings then plus my parents and plus my maid...so we make a total of 9 person walking together....hehe macam mini gathering kan? Well this is my family...

Even though i am with my family at that time, cherishing every moments with joy but my heart still bled because of someone, and as usual that night i did some reflection on myself...YES, i have indeed changed from what i am in 2010. 

• Now i add one more year to my age, progressing further in my studies
• I have my own car, my baby SUZUKI SWIFT SPORT (i named her Snow)
• Keeping all my promises
• be good to my family
• Always be there for my best friends (well not literally, but technically; i did fought with one of my besties but we made up to one another)
• Falling in love
• Keeping the love blooms
• hiding my deep secrets....
• etc 1000x

hehe so far the progress that i reflected throughout year 2011 is all okay~~ but until the month of December, something had happened to me...i think my dear readers know right? December is the toughest month for me in year 2011....until now my heart still bleeds....hurm... 2011 is fading away~~~

Now i don't know whether i should look forward for 2012 brightly or not. Just not sure of the things that are coming.....ouh~~~

Even though it is already quite late, but because we are still in January i would like to wish all of you Happy New Year 2012, and let us welcome this year with our heart opens.....HELLO 2012 ^____^

Thorn in between me...

Now i'm onlining using other people's lappy, i miss my cute little lappy..i don't need to type broad because my lappy is only 10 inch compared to this 16 inch! hehe ^_^ What am i going to post for today? Well as we all know, all ipta's student is currently facing their final examination period

BEST OF LUCK TO ALL MY PEERS WHOM CURRENTLY FACING THEIR FINAL EXAMS!! FIGHTING!

 remarkably this time i felt no mood at all to study...it is not like i am torn between to study or not to study but i am indeed don't want to study at all..OH NO~! NO NO NO NO....

Hehe actually wanted to share with you all something...For a long time i felt that there is a thorn in between my heart...luckily someone arrived into my life and the thorn was gone..but now it is here again, prickling deeply inside my heart and left me bleeding from inside...oh it hurts...it hurts~! *sobs*

 Somehow, people can't see that i'm suffering, i must swallow it all inside me...I must cloud all my true feelings inside and protect it from being known by others by keep smiling and be cheerful at all times...haish being yukie is not an easy task..Now i keep holding on, waiting for the answer to come or perhaps my time will arrive before i even know the answer...nobody will be held responsible to what happens to me...remember that...i know you are reading...hahahahaha (^_~) *spooky mood~!*

Lately i love to write poems, to express my deep feelings...well enjoy:

My knees start to shake

when you are in sight,

my minds filled with wonder

my heart with fright.

when will this feeling stop, 

when did it start 

how can I listen to my mind

without breaking my heart.

I am so confused, 

what should I do? 

I can't think of anything 

except of you.

Shouldn't ignore you 

 just give it time

I can't think straight 

my heart controls my mind.

Deep in my heart...:::....

Sometimes there are some stuff that you keep in your head, it will blends with your thoughts....

And again it will raise questions and pondering about this and that...

Well i take a deep breath and answer the questions with my heart...

Because for me when you unconsciously answers your thoughts...

That is the truest and most meaningful answer because you know your heart's desire...

Without anyone to interrupt your answers...

My advice is  be true to your heart...

You need to be true to yourself everyday and always ^__^

If you are asking if i NEED YOU,

The answer is FOREVER....

If you are asking if i will ever LEAVE YOU,

The answer is NEVER....

If you are asking if what I VALUE,

The answer is YOU....

If you are asking if I LOVE YOU,

The answer is I DO....

P/s: It is not easy to be true to one's self...but do try, cause you'll never know what the outcomes will be...indeed it will surprises you though....

Dampening eyes of me~~

I have shed my tears long enough

I have restless nights long enough

Why is all this happens to me?

Am i not being destined to be happy?

The answer might be true...

And i am alone inside

The hollowness once filled with you

Now it is hollow once again

Without you i'm LOST

Without you it is better for me to go away

DIE

Leaving this world at peace once and for all


You promised to make me happy
SHATTERED
You asked me to wake up
SHOULDN'T
You said you loved me
.......
*sigh*


Last night i thought i was the luckiest girl in the world
When you said how beautiful i am to your eyes
We cried out of joy for one another
And yet cried together out of the bitterness
You said that we shall never be apart
You will never leave me
And i must never leave you
You are my soul and i am yours
Is it just simply words?
Coz i couldn't comprehend the feelings it brought with...

there are some you can't let go of
the ones whom you shed a tear for
when they travel away from you
those are the ones you feel you love

then there are some that you hate to see go
but hold back your dampening eyes
when they part from your side
these are the ones you know you love

Liza Hanim- Merawat Luka Terpendam

Lately ku banyak merasakan diriku disakiti...dihimpiti...dipijak...dibuang...ditinggal...haish2...kalau nak list banyak sangat...Ape2 pun lirik lagu kat bawah ni sangat menyentuh perasaan yuki...lirik lagu ni seakan-akan melambangkan apa yg ade dalam hati yuki ni......

Merawat luka yang terpendam

Kesannya masih berdarah

Hendak ku tangiskan tiada pedih

Yang telah terjadi padaku

Pasrah aku terima

(Korus)

Kau hujankan penghinaan

Aku renjis kesabaran

Aku curah pertanyaan

Adakah bahagia nanti akan menyingkir hiba

Dalam ribut ada hina

Dalam tenang ada sabar

Dalam tangis sendirian

Berkemungkinankan bahagia nanti akan menyusur tiba

Bukan ku mengundang bencana

Juga tak ku menabur dosa

Tak dapat dinafi kebetulan

Dugaan menimpa diriku

Rela aku terima

(Ulang korus)

Tardiness

Now i felt like suffocating over my life...not like i am not grateful for the gift of my life but....i am not like what people see me.. I keep this for myself as i don't know to whom i can share...hurm.....

Whatever it is...i felt at ease when i am with Gizmo...lucky to have you my baby boy =) ... when i want a peace at heart i always be with Gizmo...he knows how to entertain his mommy...here's some picture of me playing with him:::

Oh yes, today is my roommate's engagement day. CONGRATS KAK IZZAH... i arrived a little bit late at her house but luckily i manage to arrive before the "rombongan lelaki"...hehe ^___^ waaah i'm so proud of her because she can control her nerves but when i arrived there she broke out....she became tense and all.. me and kak fiq try our best to calm her down...Alhamdulillah the ceremony runs smoothly...can't wait to see her back in our room ^__________^ *a big smile for you...

Wanted to be with my loved ones. . .

Now am at the campus, and the person closest to me are my roommates...you girls are all my loved ones...i love you girls a lot.! You are always there for me to support me when i am sad or sick, always there to cheer me and to listen to me, always there to accompany me and laugh with me...you grils are always there...THANK YOU SO MUCH! It means world for me ^___^

Now this semester i am not always in pink of health. We are now in week 4 and i already got two Medival Certificates (MCs), normally people like having MCs but not me! What can i do, doctors gave me MCs in order for me to rest, and i really need a good rest since i want to recover from my sickness... The beginning of the semester, i already fall sick (until going through emergency room) during my first week...oh how pity! Then the other time is when i have gastrics attack and i keep throwing up a lot! until i felt dehydrated! Then the doctor also gave me an MC....Now in week 4, i have flu, i have sneeze a total of 15 times since 8 p.m. yesterday ( i have been counting in case the doctor asked how many times do i sneeze because they like to ask such questions and expect an exact answer from us! now i'll give you and exact answer!!! )...and i felt feverish from time to time and i do cough a lot...i think the doctor need to give me another MC...but i am trying to hold on because it's already Wednesday and i have another day of class to go..! I think i can hold on till the end! go go CHAIYOK!

Now as usual i am filling the gaps that i have before my last class for today...i throat started to feel sore (because of too much coughing!)....hm, maybe this weekend i'll have a combo of = flu +  sneezing + fever + cough +sore throat! yeay what a way to celebrate my weekend! urrrggghhhhhh +______+

THIS IS GOING TO BE ME IN NEXT FEW DAYS : : :

          

p/s: Will be lying in bed in order to get better to face week 5 *_____*

10 fun things I DARE YOU TO DO DURING AN EXAM~~~!

When it comes to taking exams, most people become a nervous wreck. It got me thinking, what if we could just act silly and not get penalized? Ha-ha, here are some of my favorite ideas..




1.Go in to take the exam, sit down and about 5 minutes in, tear the exam in small pieces, throw them in the air and yell "merry Christmas!" then pause, and ask for another one. Tell them you never got an exam.



2.Randomly, clap your hands loudly and if questioned as to why you are doing that, tell the instructor the light bulb in your head and you need to turn it back on (like a clapper)!



3.pass notes to your instructor commenting on the bearded man in the desk monitoring the class (ie. him)



4.Try to get everyone in the room to do the wave.



5.Bring a cheat sheet (one that has nothing to do with the subject, ex. science notes to a Spanish exam) and turn it in with your exam and ask your instructor to review it for you.



6.Bring an unusual doll, sit it on your desk and pray to it every so often.



7.Refuse to meet his demands (taking the exam) unless he sits you next to the class hottie.



8.Read the questions out loud and ask the call out the wrong answers (to avoid getting in BIG trouble do the following "professor Ahamad, is #1 'A' ?". You'd be surprised how many dummies will jot down this answer!



9.Challenge the person next to you to a dance off.



10.Get the exam, put it in your backpack and say you will bring it back later.



Lol, obviously this is just wishful thinking, if your professor doesn't have a sense of humor, do not try! Ha-ha.

NORMALLY THIS WHAT HAPPENS TO ALL THE UNIVRSITY STUDENT *including me* WHEN IT COME TO THE EDGE OF FINAL EXAMS!!! ::--




BUT one thing I KEEP IN MIND~~~



WELL IT IS TRUE WASN'T IT????

ACTUALLY IT'S UP TO US WHAT TO DO WITH OUR STRESS~~

IF WE TAKE IT NEGATIVELY THEN IT WILL HAVE NEGATIVE EFFECT ON US,

BUT IF WE TAHE IT POSITIVELY IT CAN BE GOOD AND WONDERFUL FOR US~!

so you decide what you want to do with your exam stress~~